The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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