how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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