thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
