I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
