We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
