windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
