I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
