i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
