dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
