you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
