As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
