On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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