You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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