no you cant smoke seaweed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
