I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
