My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
