At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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