Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Enjoy the penises
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
