This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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