chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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