Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
