she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
