he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
