i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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