there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
