Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
