Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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