i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
