Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
