you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
