Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
