it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
