I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
