Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
