I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
