I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
youre lurking in front of me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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