I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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