The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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