I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
