I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
