so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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