We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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