i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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