I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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