The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
