She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
