i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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