We won't sleep together?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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