You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
