didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
