Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
