Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
